I've been thinking a lot lately about how I'm doing as a mother.
It goes back to when Cayden was about 18 months old. He wasn't talking. Barely making any sounds that were encouraging. Few months after he was born I started working nights. Exhausted in the mornings, like I am now. I know I wasn't the best mother (still am not) I knew Cayden not talking was about 100% my fault. I didn't work with him. I swear I thought that just by talking with him and reading with him that he would pick up words. But obviously he didn't and he had to go through 2 years of speech therapy because of me and my laziness.
And here we are again. Creighton is almost 18 months. He babbles - which Cayden never did until he started speech therapy at the age of 2. So that is a little progress. We're working with him a lot more than we ever did with Cayden, using tips we got from some of Cayden's speech therapists. but still no words. It makes me sad to see others' kids at earlier ages speaking words.
I'm so not doing this post as a pity me post or a fishing for anything or anything of that sort. Maybe its a way to get my thoughts down so I can get a kick in the pants to start being the mother I want to be even if I'm dog tired 4 days out of the week. So what if I'm tired? Lately the boys have been sleeping in til 8 which means if I go to bed by 2:15 then I get almost 6 hours of sleep. So I shouldn't be tired. That is a good amount of sleep. I just need to get over our habit of coming down stairs and watching TV til Lunch.. then naps then more TV til Dad gets home. Yep. Too much TV. I need to actually do something with my kids.
so my question.. what do you do with your kids? Do you have a schedule? Do you do "lessons" for each week? what are the blogs you look at for ideas? Any ideas would be great!!
And now I'm actually going to do a Thanksgiving Craft with the boys. I swear! I'll even document the progress ;)
4 comments:
First of all, you can't feel guilty about your mothering without making me feel guilty about mine. Ben is 16 months old and says nothing. We didn't do anything special with Hannah, just reading to her and talking, but now I'm starting to get worried that I'm not doing enough with Ben.
I'm working on us not watching so much TV too, but it's hard. When Hannah was younger and she was all I had to worry about, we did a lot more crafts and organized learning. I've given up on most of that, but I'm okay with that because the more I learn about children's development and the more I observe my kids, I realize that just playing is probably the very best thing for them right now. There will be pleanty of time to learn to sit and cut and glue in kindergarten, but there's a very limited time that they'll want me to play with them. This is hard for me as I don't really like playing with children much ;)
Don't be hard on yourself. You are doing soooo much and you deserve your rest. We moms need to remember to take care of ourselves or we're no use to our families. This is a lesson that's been very hard for me to learn.
You're doing awesome! Keep it up!
Every child develops differently, so DON'T blame yourself if your kids start talking a little later than some other kids!
We watch a lot of TV too, mostly because we're stuck inside most days without a backyard to play in and without a car to go anywhere. I really think kids can pick up a lot of words from the tv as well, it's not ALL bad!
We play games sometimes, play-doh, puzzles, color, paint, hide-n-seek... But not everything, and definitely not everyday. Somedays the kids just play on their own. We don't do "school time" as I think most learning comes through playing. My oldest learned to write on a magnadoodle, just "playing" around with me. Then we read books every night before bed.
Don't feel bad! You're trying and wanting to do good things for your kids! It's the parents who think theyre doing everything right and don't need improvement or strive to be better that are the ones who really should be seeking help!
Jax doesn't talk either....and he's pushing 20 months. He says things here and there....but the only definite word is NO :) ha.
Don't be so hard on yourself...the job/hours you work are HARD! I can't wait for the day when you can quit!
And just like Cayden, lil C will be fine...even if he has to go thru therapy like his big bro. At least you know what to do now and when to get some help!
Just do what you can, take a deep breath...and the rest will work itself out.
I guess I can't relate to this much, since my little boy won't be able to talk really, ever. So I'm all for pity parties once in awhile- we can have one together. I've just heard repetition is good, and back and forth to show them how communication works. They should be able to pick up most from books or you talking. Don't worry too much!
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