this world is a scary, scary place for our kids.

Saw this on Dr. Laura's FB page.. a letter from a mother to her daughter after seeing the herrendous act Miley put on at the VMAs.. haven't seen it. don't really want to from what I've heard and pictures I've seen.

Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you.

Yes, this is what happens when you constantly hear everything you do is awesome. This is what happens when people fawn over your every Tweet and Instagram photo. This is what happens when no responsible adult has ever said the word 'no,' made you change your clothes before leaving the house, or never spanked your butt for deliberate defiance.

If you ever even consider doing something like that, I promise you that I will run up and twerk so you will see how ridiculous twerking looks. I will duct tape your mouth shut so your tongue doesn’t hangout like an overheated hound dog. I will smack any male whom you decide to smash against his pelvis – after I first knock you on your butt for forgetting how a lady acts in public.

Why would I do that? Because I love you and I want you to respect yourself. Miley Cyrus is not edgy or cool or sexy. She’s a desperate girl screaming for attention: Notice me. Tell me I’m pretty. See how hot I am. I know all the guys want me. All the girls want to be me.

You probably know girls who will emulate this behavior at the next school dance. Don’t do it with them. You are far too valuable to sell yourself so cheaply. Walk away. Let the boys gawk and know in your heart that they see only a body that can be used for their pleasure and then forgotten.

I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt sad because I haven’t gushed over everything you’ve done. My role is to praise when praise is due, but also to offer constructive criticism and correction when it is needed as well. I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt demoralized because your Instagram following isn’t in the thousands, and I’m sorry those 'selfies' can never capture how amazingly beautiful you truly are. I’m sorry if you’ve ever wished you had a friend instead of a mom, and I promise you that I will probably get worse when you hit high school.

Dear daughter, I am going to fight or die trying to keep you from becoming like the Miley Cyruses of the world.

You can thank me later.

Catching up.

So I don't even know where to start on catching up....

Because basically nothing much has changed.

Creighton turned 3.  And he licked the frosting off his Cookie Monster cupcakes.. but didn't eat the cake. Eh.. I like frosting the best too ;)

so he is now in the Jordan School District's program for his speech.  He gets to ride the bus Mon-Thu!  And not sure if he likes it since everyday he twists around and doesn't want to go up the stairs.. but once on, he's fine.

But his first 2 days, I had to take him... And I think preschool wears him out :) 

He usually falls asleep as soon as he gets on the bus. Poor thing is first picked up and all last to be dropped off.  School is 11:30 to 1:30 and he gets picked up at 10:40 and dropped off at 2pm!  So its lots of time in between!  But he has grown up so much in the 2 weeks he's been in preschool.

Cayden has grown so much!! 

First day of PreK 

 He has grown so much school wise. He was named "best reader" by his teacher. And she said He's had so much fun his class and made some good friends - too bad they're all moving to the other side of the valley!  But it made school much better!  Even thought he just LOVES to learn.

They've had such fun with each holiday and field trips.

Like today, the last day of school was a Carnival/Circus day.  I think I read the paper wrong cause when I dropped him off there were lots of kids as spiderman, princesses and batman... some clowns.  But I thought it said dress up as a clown but it had "or favorite character".... whoops :) Oh well.  I made his outfit.. just a foreshadowing of what's to come for future Halloweens and spirit days!! Hahah..

As much as I am tired 24/7 these days, I am so blessed to have these boys and Adam.  I love my little family! Life is stressful and full of a lot of downs but my 3 boys help me realize that no matter what I am loved and they will be here for me. And life is worth it for them! :)

Faith

stumbled upon this amazing thought while blog hopping..

going to keep this in mind more often!

one of those days...

Its been one of those days where I am just down. I haven't really had one of these days in a long time. Or so I tell myself ;)

Back in June, when visiting my family in Texas, I came to the realization that yes I do suffer from depression. I had to admit it to myself.  Thoughts of failure held me back from getting help.  Thoughts that I shouldn't be on pills and that I could do it on my own, be happy on my own, held me back.  A talk and girls' night with my sister Sarah (thanks sis!) made me realize that to be happy I needed to seek help. I needed to do it for me, my boys and my husband.

I came home and went back and forth on rather it was just the stress of the trip, sleeping in a hotel room.. and knowing that I had to leave my family behind when we left that really had me down and acting psycho that week.. or if I really was like that all the time.  I took some time to look back and realize how damaging my actions were the past who-knows how many years.

Finally, I knew something needed to change.  There's a history on both sides of my family for depression. I knew that some of it could be hereditary but also some was me and my thinking and my brain.

I scheduled a "physical" so that I could talk to my doctor without it being the MAIN reason I went. After getting my blood work done (which despite my weight, I am perfectly healthy), I had to answer lots of questions on how severe my depression was.  My doctor, who is wonderful, reassured me that I am not the only one who feels this way.  And also reassured me that I wouldn't need to be on pills my whole life.  That through work on my part (losing weight) and the pills I could retrain my brain and thinking.  I got on the pills and I was feeling better almost immediately!

Now enter my super woman impression... I was starting to WANT to lose weight. Then I jumped out a window and I can't walk or put pressure on my leg. I got close to full recovery and then had to have another surgery because I put pressure on my leg and it messed up the screws.

So bringing it back to today... I am finally taking my pills everyday and I feel happy. Except today- which I am still WAY happier than I've been but just feeling sad.. and I think I can have a day of being down every once in a while compared to feeling this way every.single.day. I can't believe, looking back, that I didn't get help before now.

Today.. I am feeling lonely. I haven't made any good friends yet in my ward or even in Utah. Except my sister in laws and Laralee from Snow College (which was SEVEN years ago).  I know I have my little family and my BEST friend Adam.. But a girl needs some girlfriends! I know eventually I will make friends.. just now I am busy with the boys' school and working nights.  And to be honest, I am hesitant to make friends. I don't know why.  My insecurities come out. I feel REALLY young in this ward. Mostly everyone has teens or older than Cayden's age kids.. and so therefore are in a different stage in life than me.  I am a young mom. I had Cayden when I was 20! Most of the moms and women in the ward are over 30.  Granted I am going to be 26 in less than a month.. but in my mind I still feel like I am 18.  And 18 was not a good age for me.. None of my teen years really were..

Anyway.. enough babbling.. time to get over the sadness and just BE! Be with my boys.. Be happy.. There is so much to BE happy about in life! Time to go count my blessings!